9th September 2006.

I have been gone for about 5 weeks now. I was a little worried how my parents might cope while I was gone. I really shouldn't have worried. This pictoral evidence shows that Mum has filled the void left by my abscence admirably. She has clearly taken pretending to work for International Rescue by wearing a headset whilst hanging a semi-naked action man. At least she isn't bored. Anyone know the name of a good warden monitired home? Failing that, a good psychotherapist?

Bowel Check = Coathanger.

It seems to me that this man ^ is enjoying the Cairns sunshine TOO much.

The Cairns swimming Lagoon!

AAAAHHHHH!!!!!

8th September 2006.

Normality returns! Woke up feeling almost tip top and mooched for a breakfast. After shopping around for a decent price I stumbled across the above little beauty! Those sausages are about 10" long. That's a real 10" too.... not a blokes bragging 10"! By the way....the 10" sausages are on the bottom picture.

I then went to buy a diving case for my old digi camera to take diving but it is that old that they don't make them! So silly arse here ended up buying a new camera with case! Not because I like gadgets... just so you can all see the fish and sharks that I am going to see on my little adventure! So you all owe me £40.

After a nap to allow the breakfast to work its magic on my ravaged colon, I went to the Lagoon to have a read and catch a bit of sun. As I was wandering round to find a suitable spot I was about to sit down when I noticed the above chap who was a little too excited to be out in the sun. I moved. I don't want to be held responsible for that! I don't want to be held in anyway. Think I will try a few beers tonight.

Bowel check = Porthmadog.