"I don't know what she has been eating, Hank, But we can't risk letting anyone else in there!"

The voice of the Octagon....Bruce Buffer!

Jason with UFC referee...Big John McCarthy...dodgy eyes. John, not Jason.

A triumphant Chuck Walks back to his dressing room, belt intact!!

Handsome fans in the house tonight!

Just getting some help to check my flab levels !!

Spiderman gets a full naked rear choke! Oooeer! Missus!

I make a habit of kidney punching anyone with pants outside their trousers. Notice that we need a shave.

Me coming 4th in the 64 competitor poker tournament!
28th August 2006.

Can't talk for long as I am heading to Fiji today and it is 3 am!! Decided to spend my last night chilling out and playing a little black jack. When Jason and Cheryl left I checked my wallet, a habit I have formed since knowing Jason and Cheryl, and I had $110. More on that later.

Ok. So Jason and Cheryl ( hereafter J+C ) arrived on Thursday afternoon. Now I don't consider myself a picky person, but, you would think that if you were zooming halfway across the globe to see someone ( ME not that Chuck fellow ), that you might at least let them know what flight you were arriving on. Nope! I was at the airport to meet them at 2pm as J+C had told me that was there arrival time. I didn't know if they were making an connection in USA and I saw that the direct Virgin flight from Gatwck was delayed by 2 hours. As I didn't know if that was their plane I was there at 2. They arrived at 4:40pm. Arseholes.

It really was great to see them but I soon found out that Cheryl was nervous about coming as she thought she might be interupting a brotherly bonding session. No way. It was great to see them both. I knew Cheryl would be great fun but I didn't realise how much. I don't think I will be able to put down in words how funny she was but I will try and recapture a few moments for the sad people that read this diary.

The first night we had a look around the Luxor and Mandalay Bay hotels and bumped into Chuck Liddell again. I know that I put the picture up already so I will just leave it at Jason being like a school boy that was about to relieve himself without permission to leave the classroom. Enough said! We had the first of many Italian meals and, having been awake for umpteen hours Jason decided to go to bed. It was about 12 or even 1 am so he cannot be faulted at all. Cheryl on the other hand couldn't wait to get stuck into the gambling! I think we both ended up about even, maybe slightly down on our $40 or whatever we used as betting funds. Then off to bed. At this point Cheryl was doing well at not making me laugh by accident.

I am not sure how to sum up the rest of the events of their stay. I could try a chronological approach but I think that will prove difficult as the whole weekend went by in a blur. I might just have to list the things that happened in no particular order. Let's see what happens, eh? I was expecting my time to be my own after 9pm, so I could go and play poker with those two, J+C, tucked up in their resting parents getting a break from the kids, beds. Erm....wrong. They made me busier than at any other point of my trip so far!

On the Firday we had our breakfast in New York, New York (*), and as I was about to head back to the hotel, I decided to follow them to the Bellagio and Caesars Palace for a look around. After 8 hours of tramping around the shops et al of the casinos we were all knackered. As we reached the last leg of our return to our hotel, we attempted to catch the lift to the walkway over Las Vegas Boulevard ( the Strip ). I say we, but I mean Jason and I. Cheryl looked into the space that was the lift ( Elevator) shaft and scornfully announced that " The lift is missing, they must have taken it away because it is broken!" At that point the lift descended from the upper floor! She confessed later that she thought that if the lift was defective, the maintenance people took the whole lift away!

(*) I missed the fact that I played in my first and only Las Vegas poker Tournament and came 4th picking up $150 for my trouble....sweet!


The long walk resulted in 107 degree heat nappy rash in both myself and Jason. Not that the sweat has chance to hang around but it told in out hairer parts. According to Cheryl, we should go and have a Brazillian waxing. I don't think so! I will just not walk around in a desert in future. We decided not to go to the Grand Canyon as it was tricky to fit into the time we had and it was very expensive. I dare say that we will wish we had gone later but I am ok with it. Just a crack in the Earth and I was having enough trouble with my own crack without having to worry about Nevadas.

Oh, before I forget, let me just tell you that Cheryl wandered into a toilet in New York, New York after our breakfast and while in there the cleaners cordoned off the whole area for industrial leansing. I sometimes wonder what these Lurgan girls eat!

Ok.....after a little nappage and beauty sleep respectively, we headed out for a bite to eat and some beers in New York, New York. We ended up at an Italian (again) and , as we were approaching the restaurant, which is obviously inside the casino, we were discussing where we should sit to eat out meal. Cheryl insisted that it would be nice to eat "al fresco for the fresh air!" When we stopped laughing she realised that everywhere was inside and that just because there were trees around it didn't count! We drank a fair old amount during our meal and afterwards in the Irish bar, Nine Fine Irishmen. While in the bar Jason made a romantic gesture of paying the band to play a favourite song of Cheryls about Belfast girls. The request boomed over the PA system " This is for Cheryl from Armagh!". Jason was amazed when he then was told off for not stating that she was from Lurgan. " But, love, we are in Las Vegas and no-one will have heard of Lurgan!". She responded indignantly, " Well you could have at least said COUNTY Armagh!". I don't know. Bloody women..... never satisfied! While in the Irish bar Cheryl was talking to some girls from Tyrone and they all seemed very nice and good fun. We moved on to the Duelling piano bar and consumed more than our fair share of booze!

As we left, we decided to go to play a little Casino war and blackjack. I think that Jason is getting a taste for the old casino games! He is fab at blackjack and Cheryl isn't far behind him! although, on Friday night she was a little tipsy. Well when I say tipsy I mean arseholed and a nuiscance to all around her on the tables! We sat down at a blackjack table and Cheryl very kindly shared her whole drink with the entire table. Literally. Then when she had used a towel to clean it up, she spilt another! It was laugh or cry time for jason and me! She remembers nothing about the following events! Despite being told several times about touching the wager chips, she continued to grab them to slide her cards under. It must have been at least 7 times! And despite being told to only pick up her cards with one hand, she used two. Even the normally patient dealers were giggling under their breath! At one point she even piced up Jasons cards to see what he had. The dealer, quite understandably, protested and she declared..." I can look at his cards! He is my husband!". I explained that despite the people around the table knowing that they were married, the video cameras that monitor everything weren't to know. She promptly looked up at the cameras, extended her wedding finger and mouthed...

" it's ok!! we are married....I am his wife! I can look at his cards!"

She didn't leave it at that either. Some serious biker dudes sat at our table. You know the sort.... bandanas and long ZZ Topp goatee beards. they were actually really nice guys but sometimes they wanted to talk among themselves. You know, like when they were discussing that 1 year ago to the day they were at their friends funeral and that they should spend a minute in rememberance. Cheryl decided that this wasn't important enough and that what she had to say deserved their attention so she grabbed ones beard and pulled his head around to tell him about the shoes that she was going to wear that evening, but decided not to. Luckily they were nice guys and laughed along with us. I say us but I mean Jason and myself as Cheryl didn't see anything wrong with that method of attracting a listening ear! She did make up for it though by complimenting him on his "nice sidebirds". I think she meant sideburns. We eventually guided her to bed wich she completely collapsed on. Rumour has it that her first words the next morning were " Where did my clothes go?" but as yet that is unsubstantiated.

On the Saturday, Jason and I were getting excited about going to the UFC event and watching our mate Chuck, or as we call him, Mr Liddell, fighting. Cheryl was incredibly hung over after it was 5 am when we went to bed. We boys decided to treat ourselves to a professional barbours shop shave but they were booked up and we couldn't go. We were so disappointed! Just because someone wasn't going to shave us! Gutted, completely. Anyway, we had breakfast and discussed the events of the previous night but Cheryl couldn't remember a bean! It was painful but hilarious to remind her! Her tummy was a little bit off and I informed her about my bowel checks we decided that both Jason and I have irritable bowel syndrome! I feel that we are both over-reacting as I have heard rports that IBS is horrible. Especially as Jason announced that...

"IBS? I quite like it!" I am stil not sure exactly which bit he enjoys.

We went to the fight and Cheryl went shopping. I am not going to say too much about the fight as it is late and all you need to know is that it was fantastic. Every minute was brilliant and the atmostphere was unbelievable. Those not interested in UFC would be bored and disinterested but it was superb. More blackjack afterwards just added to it! Great night but knackered at the end. Just for the record.....Scott Woodhall....we met loads of fighters and....get this.....the voice of the OCTAGON......Bruce Buffer!!!!!!!

Sunday and J+C are leaving. We go to get a breakfast at NewYork, New York again and Cheryl decided to have a breakfast AND a hotdog! Fair play, she ate very very little when ill the previous day! Then while explaining that my bowel crisis was on a go slow, as in couldn't get rid of yesterdays food!, she announced that she was the same! But she explained that " It just won't leave me!" That might be a "had to be there" moment but it made me laugh!

I know there were more funny moments, and not all at Cheryls expense. I just need to get to sleep before the long trip to Fiji and it is now 4am.

To wrap up J+C's visit, I am so happy that they came. They were both fantastic company and it has been the highlight of my trip so far. I did more with them than I would have done on my own and every minute was brilliant. I owe them a big thank you for everything. Not just the Everton shirt that they brought but for being fab company! The stories about Cheryl may have been slightly over exaggerated but trust me, not by much! I am really sad to see them go. This is the first time that I have felt a little homesick. Only a little. I miss everyone loads but I am enjoying myself immensely. Seeing them go was very sad though.

So...on to Fiji. However I must add that in 10 days I have only withdrawn $600 from my bank.(£300). I used the last $110 on the blackjack table tonight. I now have $500! So in my 10 days in Las Vegas...I have spent $100. That includes meals and drinks! $100 is about £50! That doesn't include the accomodation and the $600 for chucks tickets but I think I have done pretty well!

Night night! Goodnight Las Vegas and Bula Fiji! I supposed to be staying in the Beachcomber resort if anyone can be bothered to look it up!


Bowel Check = Ground and pound.