11th April 2007.

First and foremost, let me apologise for the down beat tone to my last post. I have received, nay, been inundated with questions and concerns about the arising situation regarding the Fire Service. Rest assured that all future posts will endeavour to be joyous if at all possible. Well, except in circumstances where the black cloud descends and I find myself in a literature fuelled rage, departng on a rampage of alliteration and prose, along with a cavalcade of local government inadequacy and buffoonery. Doesn't the word buffoon make the world seem like a better place? And with the addition of the ary, it becomes positively pink and fluffy!

Just a quick update on the badness before I get on to my great weekend. I have received notification that I am now not allowed to enter into discussion with either the doctor OR the Human Resources department at the fire service! Some resource eh? Having waited for a long while for an answer to my questions, like why can't I see a doctor in New Zealand and how long will I have to be in the UK for,(I received no answers incidentally so might have to reassess my flights...again)I was told the the HR woman dealing with it couldn't respond sooner as she "had a lot of business to attend to and had a weeks holiday". You couldn't write this kind of thing! So....Anyone wanting to put me up for a few days...just let me know and expect me soon!

Oh and a late addition. Never go to see a New Zealand doctor. According to North Yorkshire Fire And Rescue Service, New Zealand doctors notes explaining that you are not very well are not acceptable as they are not in the European Union! Well bugger me! I never expected that they were in the EU! But as NZ is such a backward and under developed country, the notes issued by their doctors are not acceptable but a back street Quack in Bulgaria can issue you with a note that is perfectly fine! Wellthe wording was "not obliged to accept a doctors note from New Zealand as they are not in the EU". So that suggests a choice in whether they accept them. Hmmmm Conspiracy theorists....get back in your cages!

Anyway....Happy Easter!

Emma and Amber, my new flatmates, invited me to join them and their friends in Tutukaka for the long Easter weekend. I jumped at the chance and bought a fishing rod to boot! I travelled up with Emma and bored her to tears with the Ricky Gervais Podcasts en route. The passenger gets to operate the entertainment....shotgun rules!

We arrived and I met all the others before heading to the beach for some swimming and a spot of cricket. I am not known for my skills weilding the willow or the leather but I didn't come last, so you all owe me a vote of thanks for holding up the English end. So to speak of course. What I did gain from a light game of cricket was an aching back! Ironic eh?

A few beers and a meal in the local Tutukaka pub saw a hole in my wallet and a good nights sleep. The morning came too quickly and we headed to the harbour to zoom out for wakeboarding. For thise that don't know, wakeboarding is like water skiing but on one really fat ski. I rtied water skiing in Frodsham once with Ste from university but failed to stand up, instead electing to be be dragged along and under the River Weaver(must check spelling)which is reported to be the most polluted river in England. I don't know if that is true but as I ambled along the bottom of the river bed, powered by a 40hp engine, I believe I did consume the remnants of at least 27 other peoples evening meals from the night before. Not this time though! As the speed boat cruised along at near light speed, I hung on to the back with some distinction. I still couldn't stand up but at least I didn't get a mouth full of turds for my troubles. Everyone else could stand up and I have come to the conclusion that it is my freaksihly long legs that cause the greatest problem. I am certain that I can say with authority, that a heron couldn't wakeboard for the same reasons that I can't.

From wakeboarding to hitting the high seas to catch our dinner. After moving around a few spots we hit a hotspot for snappers! I caught a couple of keepers (slang term we sea anglers use to describe a fish big enough to keep and munch on) but the highlights of the day were the enormous kingfish that Emma and Anna caught. Amazingly, despite being around 65 centimetres long, they were not keepers! They have to be over 75cm! Damn you Neptune and your stunted children!

After a bbq of fresh fish, it was beer and bed time again. It really is the way to live. The campsite was picturesque and comfortable. I have to admit that Emma, I, Amber and Matt stayed in a "lodge" but even so, it was only one step above camping. And don't think I say camping with distain. It was brilliant.

The nxt day saw me have the golden touch at fishing. I caught nice big snappers, Kowhai(check spelling), moray eels, cod, a John Dory and a few others besides! All of this, not from the sped boat of yesterday, but on a small Yacht brought along by Duncan and Sarah. It wasn't the most comfortable of craft to fish off and my sea sickness didn't help, but Duncans Mum was there and made it all the more bearable with her baking! Life doesn't get much better! It was a shame to return home, with thoughts of then having to return home, if you get my drift........though I am not going to talk about that!

So, a fantastic weekend! Thanks to Amber and Emma and everyone that came along! Totally fab and very much appreciated!

As a side note, I have found that Amber is becoming more and more random. She says the strangest things and performs the oddest dances at the drop of a hat! But it was Emma that reminded me of the silly things that Mum says. While having a game of internet poker, I showed her that you can have drinks or food appear next to your "cyber" seat at the poker table. She genuinely expressed concern that I was wasting money. Not because of the gambling aspect but because I kept buying Gin and Tonics along with hotdogs but never eating or drinking them. I had to look twice at her before I realised that she was, in fact, serious. Realisation hit her about what she had said and she skulked off to her room in embarrassment. Top bird comment!

As for Sarahs failure to get the tug o war rockbuster......shame on you


"E. Do you want a game of tug of war? Well it's up to you, you own it"

What do you use to have a tug o war? a rope. You own it, so it is your rope. Europe. Straight forward really!!