21st September 2006.

Got myself out and about today. I went to the Docklands to see the Leonardo Da Vinci "Machines" exhibit. I mooched through the city and past the Telstra Dome, to the edge of the docks. As I wandered up to the Pavillion where the exhibit was, all of the restaurants and cafes seemed to be closed or closing. The docks were like many in the UK in that they are cool and trendy after being reinvented by developers. But the feeling that everywhere seems to be holding its breath is palpable. I have noticed all over the city. Not that many people talk in the street, the streets themselves are not that busy, the bars have only been half full at best. It really is as though Melbourne is waiting for something. It could be that they are waiting for summer, or at least spring, but as winter goes, mooching in shorts and T-shirt doesn't feel wintery to me! I had the afore mentioned shorts on today and passed people with big coats and scarves on! Don't get me wrong, I love Melbourne and it's laid back attitude, but it is a bit, well, empty. I don't mean that in an uninteresting way. It feels like I am wandering around on Christmas day, everyone is somewhere else and the ones left in the city centre would be happier if they weren't there. That sounds like everyone is miserable and that isn't the case. Just feels sort of odd.

As I was walking past the restaurants and cafes I thought about the names. Not the arty farty names that the owners give them, but the actual name, restaurant, cafe, bistro, patisserie etc. Why do we need so many names? Surely 2 is enough. Cafe and Restaurant. They adequately sum up what they are. So I think we should only have the two names. A restaurant is for formal dining and a cafe is more informal. You get a tablecloth at a restaurant, or at least a mat, and in a cafe you get a formica table. You know what I mean. Cafes will generally be open in the daytime, or for taxi drivers and lorry drivers late at night and restaurants will be open in the evening. I suppose the French will want to keep their names for them, e.g. patisserie, but we must stop them. They must learn to use our English words, restaurant and cafe. It is a cafe or a restaurant. That's the choice. The bistro owners will be up in arms saying that they are more than a cafe but not as formal as a restaurant. Tough. Make your mind up, either cafe or restaurant. McDonalds et al will be forced to be cafes instead of falsely calling themselves restaurants by the tablecloth rule. The rule of cloth. It will stop all confusion and pretentiousness.

The exhibition was quite interesting and I enjoyed looking at the machines that Leo and his mates came up with. But.....I do have an issue with the Aussies who insist on standing less than a foot away to look and read about everything. They didn't seem to understand that they weren't the only ones that were trying to look. They just pushed in front of you and stood there helping themselves to the exhibits and the information therein. I bet they weren't pushing in and jumping the queues when we shipped them over here in the first place.

Got some pictures to put on this post but Blogger is playing up and won't add them for some reason.

Bowel check = Hoof.