21st September 2006.

I went to a few bars last night, again. I went on a mission to find the Cherry bar. It is a rock music bar and it was small, scruffy with great music. But once again there were not many people in it. But the best thing about it is that it can be found on ACDC lane! A rock bar on ACDC lane! The lane was named after the rock band as a tribute by the city to their success. I left there after a while as I fancied a change of scenary and, after seeking advice from a bloke in Cherry, I went to a bar called Misty. Dodgy name I know. When I was in there I as reflecting on the blokes advice. I asked him where there was a nice bar, friendly and laid back. As the music in Cherry was so loud that I could hardly hear him, he might have thought that I was being a bit ignorant to him. As I sat in Misty, nursing a bottle of Kroenenburg, I noticed that there were a lot of very camp fellahs around. The decor in there was also very effeminate. A chinese looking bloke kept looking at me too. Aaahhhh! So the bloke in Cherry was annoyed that I wasn't making conversation with him! He had sent me to a gay bar as some kind of comedy punishment! The crafty trickster! I asked the barman if it was a gay bar but he said it wasn't, but I wasn't convinced! Not that it makes much of a difference, but I was amused that the Cherry fellah had sent me to a gay bar because I wasn't chatty with him. Only it wasn't a gay bar, so that last laugh is on him! How do you like those apples, Cherry man!

After mooching around a few other bars I set off home. Some fellah approached me clutching a Bible and asked me if was going to Heaven or Hell. Normally I would say " not today thank you!" and walk on by. But it was late and I have time to kill, so I asked him why he wanted to know. He began telling me about the down sides of Hell and about how hot it is. I told him that I had just come from Cairns and it was boiling there. Hell couldn't hotter than Cairns. I didn't even mention New York as that would have really foxed him. This seemed to take him out of his comfort zone, but he persevered, telling me that I would be going to Hell if I didn't follow the teachings of the Bible. I told him that I didn't think I would be going to Hell as I think I am a pretty nice bloke without the help of a guidebook. He said that people can't be truly good and Christian unless they worship God and study the Bible. I argued that if someone lead a good life along the same teachings as the Bible, but did so without knowing that was what the Bible was suggesting, then that would make them a truly good person as they were doing it by their own volition, and not simply following the instructions of others. At this point he started to walk away. He was walking towards my hotel so I followed him. "In all of the years of translation and misinterpretation," I suggested to him, " how can you be sure that the teachings in the Bible are a true reflection of what the original sentiment was in its first conception?". He crossed over the road to get away from me. I out-hassled the God Squad! Nice work Danno. Bed time with a satisfied grin on my face.

Now, I know that I am writing a lot of nonsense in this, and I know that some of you are actually reading it and taking note of some of my points. I hope you have downloaded the comedy things that I suggested, but even if not, I have found Three Minute Wonders that were broadcast on Channel 4 recently. As it says on the tin, they are about three minutes long each. The link is below and I think you should watch them. It is Karl Pilkington and some of his thoughts. Watch and admire the man.

http://www.karl-pilkington.com/2006/08/21/Karl-Pilkingtons-3-Minute-Wonder-on-Channel-4.php


Bowel check = Leviticus.