4th September 2006.
I woke up this morning feeling a little better but I knew that it wasn't going to last. I couldn't eat any breakfast or lunch but I did manage a haircut, so all is not lost! I am now streamline and trim which is handy as I am leaving a trail of destruction in every toilet I visit at the moment. The speedier, more aerodynamic me is nowhere to be seen at the point when blame is apportioned.
Watching a bit of news today, I noticed that Steve Irwin has been killed by a Stingray. Why oh why did Troy Tempest take one of the Worlds greatest entertainers? I am guessing that he had a barney with Marina, Aqua Marina. In all seriousness, I have watched Steve Irwin and while I did find him slightly too excitable ( all the best for doing impressions of him), I also loved watching his shows. I hated the big fuss about him dangling his kid in the face of a crocodile and thought it was way over the top. The TV is full of tributes about him here and rightfully so. He is kind of a cross between Skippy and Mick Dundee. So, in all seriousness....R.I.P Steve Irwin, all round good egg.
While in the bath I was having a think about him dying and my mind started to wander a little. Then I checked my email when I got out and found the next slanderous message from Scott.
Quote
Hmm...bit of a coincidence isn't it? You get to Cairns and Steve Irwin dies? Hmmm
Unquote.
While I am sure that people of Australia won't believe that I dressed in a large stingray costume and got my typhoid ridden ass to the sea at Port Douglas just to kill a famous son of Australian ecology and environmental awareness. But it did make me think. If Steve Irwin is being heralded in such a positive and grief stricken manner, what if another of the Antipodeas greatest figures of the last century met a sticky end?
That is why I am writing this Extra Time Blog Post. I am beseeching the Whole of the UK, not just Scott. Please, if not for my sake, for Australias,
KEEP ROLF HARRIS AWAY FROM BATHS AND HAIRDRIERS!!!
I don't think that Oz could cope if Rolf was to meet his maker at this sensitive time. So it rests upon your shoulders to protect Rolf. Tie him down if you need to. Make sure that he sees another sunarise, early in the morning. Keep him the hell away from any stairways, let alone ones to heaven! The Empire, or what is left of it, is counting on you, UK. Don't let Australia down. Save Our Rolf!
Bowel Check = Uncompliant pea soup.
posted by International Man of Apathy @ 5:53 AM
4 Comments:
Hello Mr Wicker
marina!!! yer a daft get. it's good to see & read about your travels, (yer make me sick) Me & Harry stuck in Leeds. but we will soon be in your tracks NYC soon
Hope the Fijians can cope with you
see ya later
The Faggots
Hope you didn't pollute the ocean!!!
The last gravel animal you made was in the secret back yard of 24 hour quiz. Can't remember its name! Was it Rover????
Hi Harry and Len!
Hope NYC is more welcoming, weatherwise than it was for me! I have left the Fijians now and have barely left the hotel room in Cairns, do to the screaming ab-dabs and large scale vomitous!
Speak soon!
P.S. I saw the message from Air-Geetar man before yours and thought..." Who is calling Len and Harry "The Faggots"?" How rude! Then I realised that it was you in the first instance!
I thought I was going to have to kick some Geetar back!
Buzz.....I am getting used to the fact no one wants to put their real names but once again I am convinced that my powers of deduction are on the ball. But rest assured, Dad, I won't blow your cover!
Same to you Schnorbitz! You let me down with the gravel animal. It was Poddy the dog!!!
It is sad to see that Air-Geetar man, who is alledgedly a big layer in World finance, is enthralled by the fact that you don't have to flush the loos in the Bellagio by hand. What is wrong with the man? Every toilet can be flushed without skin contact if you are dexterous with a shoe, although a flip flop might be risky!
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