The top of Signal Hill.

Moose Bourguignon, or what was left of it! Mmmmm

Myself and the "goat-dog" chilling by the pond.

The blue house right in the centre is Tobys. Taken from a rock at the end of his property!

Three intrepid exploerers. This wasn't even the big yomp and look at the state of us!

St Johns from the top of Signal Hill.

For some reason, the Wal the Llama didn't want to kiss me. He has a lot of neck to refuse!

If you look closely you will see the moose.

Bern, Linda and Toby at Bern and Linda's house.

St Johns. Newfoundland. Canada.


4th August 2006.
I left New York at 6am to catch my flight to Toronto and then on to St Johns. Many people have asked why I am going to St Johns and many have asked where it is. When I lived in my little house in Pocklington, near York, I had the pleasure of being neighbour to a fab couple whom some of you may have met. Toby was from Suffolk while Shannon was from St Johns. They were married in the time that they were unlucky enough to live next door to me and make a perfect couple. They were great people to live next door to as they left me alone and understood that I enjoy my solitude, yet often popped in for coffee, beers or a chat when the mood took them, as did I to them. In 2005 they decided that they would move to Newfoundland. I don’t think that it was something that I said, but would never rule out the effect of a few over flatulent nights helping to make their decision. Despite moving over 2000 miles to be away from me I have the great news that I am stopping by for a week!

By virtue of bad luck, Shannon is booked on a flight to England on the same day that I arrive in Newfoundland so I will only be able to spend a short time seeing her again, or so I thought. My flight was delayed by 20 minutes at Newark Airport so I will be late for my connection at Toronto. There was only a short window for the connection and the 20 minutes extra meant that I missed the 12:15 flight to St Johns. The next flight is at 14:30 but my bag has already been sent for the later flight of 19:25! I will be landing in St Johns as Shannon’s’ plane is about to take off! I am gutted that I won’t be able to see her but it can’t be helped. It also means that I have to sit around in Lester B Pearson Airport (Toronto) for 7 hours. But it is all ok as Air Canada have given me a voucher for $10.00 to get some lunch! The voucher only paid for the drink!!

I have walked all over Terminal 2 at least 12 times now and am a little bored. Having been outside the terminal 6 times for a crafty cigarette and passed through the security X-ray machine every time, I pass through once more before my flight. Every previous scan has let me pass unobstructed, but the last one bleeps loudly. I have nothing different on me and the “frisking” reveals nothing but the security guard looks though my wallet. Asking if I have anything unusual in there, he squeezes and probes my wallet, his fingers finding something other than a credit card shaped item. “What is this?” he asks while fingering the circular, flexible lump showing through the leather. I try to quietly explain that it is nothing. He asks again, but louder. I whisper quietly the identity of this object but he insists that I speak clearly. “It is a condom!” I oblige. I always have them there and even though I honestly wasn’t expecting rampant sex in Terminal 2, I neglected to remove them during my extensive packing. He knew what it was before he asked. He just wanted to see if I got embarrassed. Sneaky these Canadians! Unless he thought it was an instrument of international torture. I suppose it could feel like a miniature lasso to the touch. I didn’t see lassoes on the list of forbidden items though. One for Al-Qaeda to consider perhaps. They would have to learn how to throw on like a cowboy though and the best place to learn would have to be America. Hmmmm. They could learn to fly AND lasso in a buy one get one free deal.

I finally land in St Johns and Toby is there to greet me. It is just past 12:00 and we both are tired. I feel really grateful for him coming to pick me up even though he was there to drop Shannon off anyway. Then it occurred to me. Toby is still learning to drive so he NEEDED me to be with him or he wasn’t allowed to drive home. Now that Toby has been living here for nearly a year, he has started to pick up the sneaky Canadian traits! It is great to see him all the same! It is a shame that it is so late as I miss out on a lot of the scenery as we drive from St Johns to Harbour Main where he and Shannon have bought their house. When I see the house, it is beautiful. It is very similar as the house in Pocklington in that it has stack loads of character. A fabulous great stove sits in the middle of the living room and although it isn’t lit, it dominates it. I get to meet Toby’s relatively new addition, Ebony the dog. She never stopped the whole time that I was there, save for the last day when we yomped for miles through marshlands, woodlands and rivers! Time for bed.

5th August 2006.
I am woken up by the sound of rain falling outside the window and an overcast sky. After my week in the New York sauna it is a sight for sore eyes. Toby shows me to the large pond that is about half a mile into the hills from his house. The scenery is spectacular! Although it is cloudy, you can see for miles over hills, forests and lakes. He had told me that he lives “in the sticks” but I don’t think I expected it to be so wild right outside the door. If you count Ebony, I suppose it is wild inside too. The walk is superb and I see three Goshawks circling around, one teaching the others how to hunt. This kind of thing you don’t get every day on every doorstep! We are going back into St Johns for a few beers tonight. On the way we pop in to see Shannon’s’ parents. Her Dad is totally mental! A real character and very funny too. He is so laid back it is a wonder he is still standing! But talk about swear! It is the same harmless everyday swearing you often hear in the Irish but it caught me out at first! I take a while to adjust to the accent but soon I am fine! The Newfoundland (I later discover it is pronounced Newfunland) accent is easily mistaken for Irish. Quite often I hear a strong Irish tilt to he way that Bern ( Shannon’s Dad) talks. That shouldn’t have come as any great surprise as I knew that the population of Newfoundland was heavily made up from Irish immigrants many years ago. I also remember thinking that Shannon was Irish when I first met her. Linda, Shannon’s Mum is not at home as she is at the St Johns Folk music festival. I will meet her when we show our faces there later tonight. Bern and Linda’s home is every bit as impressive as Toby’s, but in a different way. It is like a mini farm! He has sheep, chickens and a Llama dotted around! Wally the Llama snootily turns his nose up at me, but I am told that he is a star tourist attraction for the locals, so I am not the first to be snubbed. Bern tells us to be careful in St Johns centre while we have our beers as it can get a little raucous. Perfect! Just how I like it!

St Johns is about an hour or so away from Harbour Main so we are checking in to a hotel for the night otherwise neither of us could have a drink as Toby would have to drive and I would have to be sober. Not that I would have to be sober to trust Toby’ driving, but as he is learning the person accompanying him in the car must be in possession of at least some of his faculties. After a bite to eat, we head to the folk festival. There was a really good turn out for it, I reckon at least a couple of thousand people. Some really good singers on the main stage too. I met Shannon’s Mum who was in the crafts tent selling the sweaters that she makes at home. That really doesn’t do it justice as she has a little factory in the house turning out some really smart looking woolly pulleys! They seem to be selling very well indeed and so they should. I am no sweater expert (or perhaps I am after my week in New York, did I mention it was hot?), but they look top notch. We leave to see some of the bands but not after I give Linda a “hello” peck on the cheek that I miscued and managed to land right on her earring. I think she must have thought I was trying pinch it! One of the acts at the festival sings one of my favourite songs, “She Moves Through The Fair”. She had a good voice but all of a sudden she changed the lyrics and started to sing about a rubber chicken! I am not sure what all that was about but I think I might have to write a stern letter of complaint to the festival organisers! Toby and I found the beer tent and got stuck in. Beer from small 330ml cans doesn’t really do the job so it is not long before we head to George Street for a few man size beers.

That is a weird place! Crammed full of bars and a really good atmosphere, it feels like being on holiday in a cooler Ibiza or something. There are loads of bars in not a lot of space. If ever anyone finds themselves needing a good night out in that neck of the woods then you could do a lot worse than go to St Johns. There is a very strong Irish influence on a lot of the bars with live music in the majority. As for Berns warning about things getting a little out of control, there was no trouble at all. Well apart from one tiny bloke being pushed out of a bar by a group of 4 bouncers. With the size of the main pusher, you would assume that the small guy would just leave but it ended up with him being pushed over 4 times! I wonder what he was thinking as he picked himself up from the floor for the third time? “I reckon that if I stand up and stagger to the bouncer that has picked me up and pushed me over three times and explain to him that I want to go back in to the pub, this time he might see my side and let me in!”. Drunk people eh? Only thing funnier is watching old people trying to get into rowing boats. Oh and dogs being shocked by their own farts.

6th August 2006. Wake up in the hotel feeling ok and even better after a greasy fry up. Manage to walk around Signal Hill. It is the point where the first Trans Atlantic message was sent. From Signal Hill you can see the whole of St Johns and it reminded me of Whitby. It is bigger but not by a huge amount. I don’t know if I could call it a city, more a large town but apparently the St Johners are a bit touchy about that, so I won’t mention it!

Back to Harbour Main via Bern and Linda’s and take the dog for a long walk. I could easily get used to this fresh air. We take the fishing rods up to the long pond. Ebony goes mental and jump in chasing every cast! If there were any fish looking to get hooked by either of us, they soon buggered off when the canine dynamo leapt in! We caught nothing but to be honest, I was just enjoying being in the fresh air and mucking about with a fishing rod to much to care if I caught anything! Toby says we should try again tomorrow, perhaps at a different pond. There is something he isn’t telling me……..

7th August 2006
Now, I am writing all of these entries after the event so I may be getting the odd day mixed up, so please forgive me. We headed to Mount Pearl to find a shop called Canadian Tire to buy a clay pigeon flinging machine. Toby is doing fine at this driving lark so I am just along for the ride really. I think we did some more dog walking today ( twice a day. Quite long walks too. I am in danger of getting fitter. Better put a stop to that. Need to top up my beer belly) and went to the small pool that has been created in Harbour Main, where the river runs into the sea. We had to eventually tie up Ebony as she was chasing the fishing tackle and stealing things from the bags so that we would chase her. I don’t know where that dog gets all of her energy from! We caught no fish. Zero. Nada. Ziltch. I am sure it is just bad luck. There is definitely something that Toby is not telling me………………………..

8th August 2006.
Today was shooting day! We went to Bern and Linda’s house to fire off a few shells in their garden. This might sound dangerous but if you see the size and layout of the garden, you wouldn’t believe it. There are meadows and forests in the garden! We had to DRIVE a quad bike to get to the bottom, through the trees! When we got to the bottom we saw the cliffs that lead down to the beach. Their beach. In their garden. Along with the forest. In their garden. As we stand on top of the cliff, overlooking the beach flinging off clays and blasting them with shotguns, Linda said that she could barely hear the gunfire. In her garden! What a place to live. Either in the middle of the dramatic hills and lakes near Toby, or standing on your own cliff, shooting clay pigeons as they fly out over the sea! Toby decides that as I have never fired any gun before, that it would be embarrassing if I hit one before he did. Chalk one up for Danno! Just got to see a moose, a chipmunk and catch a fish to cross off all of my list. I kind of saw a moose tonight. Bern and Linda invited us round to have dinner with them. They are fab. Linda cooked moose bourguignon for us! I took a picture of it in case I don’t see a live one! It was delicious but I turned down the kind offer from Linda of trying a Seal Flipper too! There must be one poor seal who keeps swimming round in circles now, as Linda has his other flipper in the freezer. Moose and seal sound like odd menu items, but when you think about it, cow and pig are no more odd. And who decided that celery was food? Moose every time for me thank you.

9th August 2006.
Went on a mission today. While sitting on top of a large rocky hill on a dog walk, we saw a river running through a valley, about 2 miles away. We grabbed the fishing stuff and set out with Ebony for the day. Toby knew what he was doing and had packed lunch etc. It looked like a nice walk from the top of the hill, across a meadow, just like in the Waltons. It was actually fighting for every step! If we weren’t scrambling up rock, then we were wading through thigh high swamp or crashing through thick forest! I am cut to ribbons and bitten to death by mosquitoes! But it was worth it. We found the waterfalls and tried fishing up there for a while. Just as I was answering the call of nature I looked over to see a moose in the distance. I managed to get a couple of photos of him (a young male, just getting his antlers) but I was quite a way off. I later found that you can get a reasonable picture if you take a photo through the eyepiece of binoculars. Tip of the day there. No luck. I am beginning to get the impression that Toby is not the master angler I thought. Then he lets it slip! “you better not catch a fish before I do!” he said. When challenged, it turns out that he has never caught a fish in his life! We move down below the falls and try again but no luck again. Ebony keeps crashing into the water ever time we cast out, so I am beginning to see why Toby hasn’t caught a fish! And I was looking to him as the resident expert in fish catching. We decide that the swampy undergrowth is unpleasant looking so we just mooch on down the river bed. Our feet are wet now so it doesn’t matter that we are up to our thighs on water. It was great fun tramping down the river but when we saw the next spot to fish in, we tied Ebony up. Then it happened. I got a bite and reeled it in! I must have been at least 3 inches long. That is three inches longer than the one Toby caught! I hit the clay first and caught a fish first. He must be looking forward to when I go home! Totally knackered, we headed off home. What a fantastic day and week I have had. It more than made up for New York! I am leaving tomorrow as my flight is early on Friday morning and I am checking into the hotel again. Bern is taking me to St Johns in the morning and I will spend the day in the bath in the hotel. Pop in to say goodbye to Linda. Bern, Linda and especially Toby have looked after me so well this week. I am sad to leave and really appreciate everything they have done for me while I have been there. Top people. Top week!

11th August 2006.
Said goodbye to Toby and went with Bern to my hotel. Did a lot of sleeping I the hotel so that I can be fresh when I get up at 4am to get to the airport to go on to Vancouver. Well, when I say I did a lot of sleeping, I mean it in the sense of did no sleeping and went to the pub and got drunk. Same thing really isn’t it? Didn’t enjoy having no sleep and now I am typing this on the plane to Vancouver, via Halifax and Calgary. Had a great week and looking forward to the next! I am sure I have left loads out from this week but I am shattered. I am hoping Toby will E mail me to remind of anything I have missed out on! Oh, by the way Toby… after all that checking, I realised that I left a couple of T-shirts on the clothes horse! Arse!