A short and steady walk from "the Rock" to my hotel. Only a few blocks and boiling! See the sweat soaking through? Minger!

Central Park from the top of "the Rock".
The Empire State Building.
Grand Central Station and the Chryasler Building.
Last Guinness in Blighty!Heathrow Airport.


July 20th 2006.
At last, I have jumped with both feet into the unknown. I am now jobless, homeless and facing an uncertain future. I couldn’t be happier about it! I have left the UK North Yorkshire Fire Service after 8 ½ years of fighting fires and all that nonsense. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my time in the Fire Service in the beginning. I was at Whitby for 2 years and despite it being quiet, I had a great time. Green Watch at York are some of the finest people I have ever met and having worked with them for the last 5 years I am genuinely sorry to say goodbye to them. I have moved over to Northern Ireland for 1 week and brought along my Mums car in preparation for my parents moving here lock stock and barrel.

A week in Craigavon passed very quickly, too quickly. Having lived in Yorkshire while my niece and nephews were in Northern Ireland I have missed a great deal of them growing. I have had so much fun catching up on the playing with Josh, Ben and Jorja that I have missed while being in England and met Max for the first time. I managed to grab an hour or two in the pub with Jason (my brother) and could have done with a few more but we couldn’t as there was so much to do. During my week Cheryl, my sister in law, was great and helped to keep me well fed! I was staying at my sisters house (Kelly) and, as we both talk the same level of crap, it was fab to spend the week there. On my last night I picked up Mum from the airport. She was knackered as she had been loading up the removals lorry all day and then jumped on a plane. At least I had the chance to see her before I left to go on my travels! I was due to meet Dad at Belfast Port at 6am on Friday morning to say my last goodbye to him. Unfortunately his ferry was delayed by 2 hours and I had to be at the airport to fly at 9am. So I didn’t see him. But we had said our goodbyes when I left England. I would have loved to see him one more time before I went but the seas conspired against us! Going to miss everyone so much but when a mans gotta go, a mans gotta go!

July 28th 2006.
So, after that week where did I go? New York baby! Yeah! I flew from Belfast to Heathrow and then on to JFK. At Heathrow I had my last pint of Guinness on UK soil for a while. Whenever I have been on holiday my camera sits in my suitcase for the entire time and I never take any photos. I have made a promise to take pictures on this “holiday” so my first is that landmark pint! But, as it was in London, it cost a packet and tasted like rubbish! When will the Londoners learn to pour a proper pint?

The flight was pretty comfortable really, which surprised me. I don’t do well with sitting in a tiny chair for 8 hours but it was ok! I got talking to 2 girls, one from New York and one from South Africa as we were landing. The New Yorker let me sit in her seat next to the window so I could get a view of the city as we were swooping in. Unfortunately she was sat on the side that saw nothing of the city at all! Cheers Love! She made up for it by showing me how to get into town on the subway. Jesus Christ it is hot! I saw on the news before I got here that there was a heat wave but this is incredible. Not just hot, but really humid too. I am sweating from places that I didn’t even know had sweat glands. Walking from 34th street subway stop with my rucksack and two other bags I was having trouble getting my bearings because nothing is familiar and the sweat is pouring into my eyes! Eventually I found my way to my hotel, The Americana Inn. I had expected basic and a bit scutty but I was pleasantly surprised. Of course, it isn’t the Hilton, but it is clean and tidy. Perfect! Just a couple of hours to shower and get out for a beer with the 2 girls from the plane. Turns out that they didn’t know each other but the New Yorker offered to meet up with us and take us to a bar for a beer. It would be rude not to accept! I found my way on the subway down to 2nd Avenue where we arranged to meet. On the way I was blessed by a blind old man who was singing for change. I don’t think he was a real minister but as he was blind I figured that he might not realize that either. Better to let sleeping dogs lie on my first night. The subway train missed my stop and I had to back track to get to 2nd. As we got to Delancey, a group of young black guys got on with a ghetto blaster (is that still an acceptable term or am I showing my age? Is it ok to say ghetto? I can see my mouth getting me into trouble on this trip. No shocks there!). I was standing next to one of the doors. The guys were from about 7 years old up to about 18. The shortest, and I would guess the youngest, walked up to me and asked me to move somewhere else. I have seen things like this in films. I move and another gang gets on and they begin attacking each other with various weapons. Blood sprays over the carriage windows as the carnage rolls up and down, with innocent bystanders being caught in the crossfire. I check the passengers, looking for the off duty cop who despite a long day protecting the city, still has his gun and razor sharp aim. He must have got off earlier. I look down to the kid and he asks me to move again. He might be 8 years old and in a straight fist fight I reckon I can take him. His gang are watching, waiting for my reaction to being moved. Not now Dan. Save this for another time. I let him off the hook. Next time short stuff, next time. I take a seat further up the train and tentatively look over my shoulder to see the violence unfold. The 8 year old is standing in the middle of the train between the doors on either side, facing me. I still reckon that I could beat him if I need to when he attacks. I know that New York is a tough city but I am 31 and he is 8. I could at least manage a draw. Suddenly he started body popping as the ghetto blaster bursts into life. One by one, the gang take it in turns to dance, spin, flip and vault in the tiny space! They were brilliant! I gave them a couple of dollars and they got off and I made it to 2nd unscathed. Quite an eventful trip really!

Went to a couple of bars after meeting the two girls and had a good night. I left them to go into Chinatown while I went to some bars back up near my hotel. I am getting used to the way the streets are laid out now. I am finding my way a lot more easily now. I have seen the Chrysler building but you guessed it, my camera is in my bag! Haven’t seen the Empire state building yet but I know it is near here. I went the wrong way and found myself in Times Square. Not that big really. I am getting the impression that New York isn’t quite as big as I first thought. The Chrysler Building didn’t look impossibly tall but I think I was expecting too much. I am not saying that I would like to throw myself off the top and I do know that they are tall. But. I was hoping that I would be awestruck by the height. I was hoping for clouds to be gathered around the top!

29th July 2006.
Went for a mooch today. Saw the Empire state building and the Rockefeller building along with the Chrysler building again. Found a little park just around the corner from me called Bryant Park. It is only small but very nice. I saw a bloke on a laptop and asked if he was online. Turns out that this park has free wi-fi access! I think I will have to pop along here on an afternoon with a cold drink and watch the world go by. Finding diners isn’t that easy. I think it must be because I am in the real touristy area. It is all McDonalds and fast food. Having walked around for a bit I can’t believe how hot it is. Totally mental and it is going to get hotter. On Wednesday it is due to get to over 100 degrees and with the humidity it will feel like 115!

I went to the Gotham comedy club tonight on 23rd street. Great venue and the acts were pretty good too. Apparently I will have seen all of them on different TV shows but no. They were quite good but the American slant missed me a couple of times. The last act got the biggest response but he was basically just doing smut lines. I thought he was by far the worst but the audience seemed to think he was hilarious. During the show there was a weird looking girl sat just in front of me and she was a bit gobby. There was also a bloke behind me who whooped and hollered all the way through. The all American stereotype remains untainted! The show was pretty good but it did have a sort of manufactured feel about it. They do 3 or 4 shows a night with the same acts so I guess that is to be expected but it wasn’t quite as good as the comedy clubs I have been to in England.

30th July 2006.
Went to Grand Central Station today. What a fab building! It looks really small when surrounded by the skyscrapers. Inside, it is beautiful and seems much larger than from the outside. It looks sort of out of place with the rest of New York that I have seen so far. It has an elegant and serene feeling about it despite the people inside rushing about. I like it there. After Grand Central I wandered up to Central Park. It is a huge place. I was lost the minute that I entered it. I got as far as Sheep Meadow and sat on the grass to let my t-shirt dry off. It was too hot to stay too long so I walked around in the tree covered area. On the whole, I think I might like New York more if it wasn’t so hot all of the time. Not that I am not enjoying it, it is just that the oppressive heat makes walking anywhere a mission. Can’t decide where to get my panoramic view, the Empire State or the Rockefeller? I think I might go for the Rock so that I can get pictures with the Empire State on them. I will do that tomorrow. Sunday night bars were very, very empty. I ended up on 2nd street again and found a couple of bars with a few people in but not many. Stumbled across another comedy club and popped in. It was awful. I can’t decide if it was an open mic night but the room was tiny and there were hardly any people in. A couple of the comedians were ok but they just died on their arses! Tough job!

31st July 2006
I woke up very late today, probably a mixture of the intense heat, lots of walking and catching up on the sleep time difference. I thought that I should rush out and do something constructive. I then had a flash of inspiration! This is my trip and if I was to decide that I want to do nothing, then that is ok. Having traveled all of the way to New York, I was feeling obliged to make good use of my time here and see everything. What I had forgotten was that this IS MY trip. So I sat back in my room for most of the remaining day and watched crap TV in the luxury of my air conditioned palace. Still felt a bit guilty and no doubt that people reading this will think that was a terrible waste of precious time. What you people don’t understand is the unbelievable temperature and humidity. I know I keep going on about it but you really have to be here to believe it. If I walk 2 blocks then I am sweating uncomfortably. But it isn’t just me! I see New Yorkers looking the same! The News has reported that this is the worst heat wave since 1933 and the City has announced a state of emergency. I am not exaggerating! At about 7:30pm I decided to go to Bryant Park to check my E-mails and see who is online. There was a huge crowd gathered in front of the HBO screen to see a film. The internet connection was really slow and kept crashing so I packed up, came back and had a shower. Then I went back to watch the film. There were at least 1000 people crammed in for the free show! The lawn was totally packed but I managed to find a seat right at the back on a statue plinth. The film started at about 8:30pm and was a beauty! Peter Sellars in “A shot in the dark”. The Pink Panther film for those not in the know. I saw the title when I was in the park earlier and hoped it wasn’t the new one with Steve Martin and my luck was in. Went to a couple of bars afterwards and had a few beers. By the time I walked back from Scruffy Duffys on 46th and 8th I was dripping from head to foot! I don’t know how you are supposed to cope with this! I am having fun by the way!

1st August 2006.
Dragged myself out of the hotel this morning to go to the Rockefeller centre. I am using Word to type this and Rockefeller centre is in the spell checker already! Arrogant Yanks must have dismissed “proper” English and just applied their own dictionary! I know there is a way to make my Word use English English but I am far too stupid to do it. I might have to use more typically specific English words to test it out. Oh, and while I am at it, pants are undergarments. Not trousers. So if you hear an American stating that they spilled something on their pants, feel free to give them a look of distain. Why not go the whole hog? The word is ask. A S K. Not aks. Not axe. Ask. Read it carefully, you illiterate, burger munching, gun toting, pant wearing, R bending, cell phone shouting, patronizing scum bags! Incidentally, R bending is my name for the way that they over emphasize every R in a word. Walking up the street (not sidewalk, path is acceptable), I am deafened by people talking about their “carrrrrs” and shouting for “ Rrrrrrrandy!”. They have all been really nice to me in general, but please don’t bastardize my language! I can do that all on my own!

Ok, rant over. The Rockefeller Centre (not center thank you) was great. The bit underneath was for shopping and the like, so I whizzed by there quite quickly. I had a huge salad and a sandwich in Prêt a Manger (which I felt safely didn’t count as fast food. Just in case I haven’t mentioned it yet, I am trying not to go to a McDonalds while I am here. I am not sure why but I have fallen out with McDonalds. I see it as a kick in the fat red nose of Ronald McDonald if I come to his back yard but don’t give him any cash. I may not be Morgan Spurlock or Michael Moore but it just feels right!). The salad was great but quite expensive. I should have just had a few hot dogs. (Hot dogs don’t count as fast food in the McDonalds way as they are single sellers making a living and this is my game so I make the rules). I hope that my new found enjoyment of salads and vegetables doesn’t mean I am getting old or a bit fruity. Mind you, if I was to claim that I still really enjoy a good portion of meat, then that would sound even worse. Dad! Don’t worry! Just because I am enjoying lettuce and tomato, it doesn’t mean that we are going to have “the Chat”!

“Dad?”
“Yes son?”
“I have an awkward thing that I have discovered about myself, and I don’t know how to tell you.”
“Go ahead son. You can tell me anything. Are you going to tell me that you are gay? You know that would be fine! Being gay is natural. You don’t have to worry”
“Erm no. Dad. I am going to vote for the Tories at the next election!”
“ I have no son, GET OUT!”



Got to the top of the “Rock” and the view was brilliant. It is amazing to see how the buildings just go on for miles. I am not sure if I thought it was beautiful or not though. It is outstanding, the feats of engineering and design, but I don’t think it can be beautiful. More like a big concrete scab over the rivers. I think that is why Central Park looks so much like an Oasis in the middle. Even Central Park is designed and unnatural but without it, the city would look like it was close to choking itself to death. God, I sound like I hate the place, don’t I? Not true. I do like it here and maybe the heat is stopping me from really getting into it. I just think it is too manmade for me. Must be the Yorkshire man in me. He likes salads too! Took loads of photos from the “Rock” and I will try and publish them somewhere on a blog. I tried to start it last night but, as I said, the internet was a bit ropey. I did get my blog site up but it doesn’t seem to involve photos. I am going to see the Staten Island Ferry tomorrow but as it is right downtown, I am guessing that I will have melted by the time I get there. I will visit the site of Ground Zero too. My last act as a firefighter? Perhaps.



There are lots of museums and galleries around and I intend to visit at least two. I wanted to go to the Guggenheim. I am not sure why, I think I just like the name. I don’t even know what is there. There is a Museum of sex on 27th street which I might go to. It is the naughty schoolboy in me. He isn’t too keen on salad and won’t do as he is told. I bet when I get to the museum of sex it is a let down. I am not expecting pornography but a more socio-political view on sex and the depiction and attitudes to it. The small bits I have read about it in a city guide make it sound interesting. But if I am going to visit a few museums, then at least I can justify this one to “The Lads”.

Stop Press!
Just seen an advert for Easy off Bam! Cleaner. It looks like Cillit Bang. Cleans like Cillit Bang. Barry is the bloke selling it. It is the same Barry…Barry Scott I think his name is. But they call it Easy Off Bam! It was bad enough when Europe bullied us into called Jif, Cif. Then we couldn’t eat Marathons anymore but tuck into Snickers instead. (Snickers was in the spell check too! It isn’t even a real word!) But not they have Barry selling us Easy Off Bam! I don’t want to Bam something. I want to Bang something. A good old Bamming isn’t the same as a thorough Banging I always find.

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