A stick that I found. What can you see? Can't write what I saw but it involved an "excited" man sitting on the back of a dog. I reckon the Earth was telling about an ancient crime that occured in that spot.



9th February 2007 (again …ever felt like I should write on the day I do things?)

Picton. 1700 hours approx. 822 Kilometres to Queenstown. No problem! A quick message from Penny later and we decided that the 5 hours driving from Picton to Christchurch would be enough for that day, as Queenstown is at least another 6 hours on from Christchurch. We looked through our books and called the Tui Lodge who told us that she closed the office at 10pm sharp. We told her that we would be there but might be a couple of minutes after 10. “That’s fine, but the office shuts at 10pm.” Can Arnold rise to such a challenge? With a driver who is totally unfamiliar with the roads? Roads that passed through mountainous terrain? You bet your life he can! Even when the whole front of the car became a holocaust site for insects, Arnold ploughed on heroically. We arrived at Tui Lodge at 9:59pm and had to dive, Indiana Jones style through the door as the owner was trying to lock us out. England 1 – New Zealand 0! At this point I think that it is prudent, considering Scott’s Police employment, to reiterate that at no point did we exceed the 100kmh speed limit. Not even at the point where all of Arnolds wheels were air born and the lying untrustworthy speedometer read 150. We were legally respectful at all times. Although when we stopped at an ill-stocked garage for a bite to eat and were caught trying to eat a whole pack of ham in one go, each, I think that the poor witness suspected a felony. I will be more cautious when going hamwise in future.

After a nights rest at the Tui Lodge, we zoomed on to Queenstown. We, as usual, hadn’t booked our accommodation in advance, instead preferring to trust that a huge tourist attraction like Queenstown would have more than ample hotels and hostels. We sped past fantastic scenery and some not so awe inspiring farmland. The nice bits were REALLY nice! Lake Tekapo was going to be our stop off and rest point as we had been told that it was spectacular, but it was the next lake along that was the most awesome. I can’t remember the name of it and the map book is in Arnold, but if I remember later I will put the name on. Alternatively one of you readers may wish to enlighten us and pop it in the comment. That would do two things. Firstly, it would stop me having to strain myself in trying to remember. Secondly it would give all of you a reason to use Google Earth that I know you all have on your PC’s. After all, there are only so many times you can look at your own house and the Empire State Building, you free(down)loading cheapskates! By the way…what are the funny lines on the pitch at Goodison Park on Google Earth? (Insert crappy football related insulting joke about Everton here).

After many long and winding roads and dangerous overtakes, we arrived in Cromwell (again, need to check that but I am sure it was Cromwell) where we had a coffee and looked through the books for the hotel that we would book. The choice was made very easy for us. All of them were full. No vacancies at all. Oh dear. We tried the hostels. Nothing. Fearing the worst we began to look at Arnold to decide what the most comfortable arrangement would be, when I tried ringing Scallywags guest house. The guy, Evan, who answered the phone, was the owner but I couldn’t decide if he was really grumpy and ill mannered or very funny. It turned out to be the latter and we managed to get booked in for two nights. The Lonely Planet guide said that Scallywags had an “interesting feel” to it. It certainly does! I think it is a great place and not because we were given a room in a house that was only inhabited by women until our arrival! All of them were really nice and friendly although I do have my doubts about the sanity of two of the Japanese girls.

Queenstown looks spectacular. The huge lake, surrounded by mountains and low hanging clouds, are so dramatic that it could be the most scenic place in the World that I have seen. Newfoundland was stunning and Queenstown certainly comes close for natural beauty, maybe even surpassing it. The theme for any stay here is outdoors, snowwise in the winter and waterwise in the summer. There are literally tonnes to do but we have been selective and gone for a white water rafting and bungy jump combo. By the way…that is the Nevis bungy at 143 metres and not one of the girly ones. We go tomorrow. Better write that will again. Having booked the deaths on sticks, we went up on the cable cars to see the view over Queenstown and to have a go at the luge. It is a bit like gravity driven go-carts and they were fantastic fun until an accident spoiled it. Having discovered that I was far more aerodynamic than Scott, we battled down the two tracks several times, ramming each other off the track and trying every dirty racing trick in the book. Having been rammed off the track (Michael Schumacher esque) twice whilst performing swooping overtaking manoeuvres, I performed a rear end shut in the slow down lane which somehow turned Scott’s luge over, causing him to be dragged for a metre or so over the concrete. A bloody elbow, scuffed calf and torn clothes were the trophies for our folly. There is still a stewards enquiry as to whether the slow down lane constitutes fair game in the hard and fast world of international luge and I don’t think there will be a definitive answer! Well I suppose that a few beers in the bar where they open the roof with hydraulic rams will help ease any pains.

Well, better prepare for the Bungy etc tomorrow. Clear the bowels etc. That is tricky in a house with girls as it isn’t fair to subject them to the foul stench aftermath of beer. This morning one of the girls came out after following me in there with a face like a dog chewing a toffee. She didn’t complain but even I knew the air stuck to the inside of your mouth. By the way, if you don’t understand the dog/toffee reference don’t worry but rest assured that giving a dog a sticky toffee, or a wine gum for that matter, is comedy gold!

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